SOoOoOo I was on facebook going through my pictures!! Omg when I say I got really emotional! I miss my UNIT!!  Like we had our issues I mean what group of friends don’t?!??! Anyway I miss them with everything! It’s hard to go from seeing and being with them everyday to not seeing them at all! I need to make a trip to see everyone! Like I got teary eyed just thinking about all of things we’ve done together! I love my UNIT! Clarion may not have been the best place to be but with family like them it became HOME!! 

****ROADTRIP SOON!!***

Soooooooo I’ve really been thinking about being celibate!! Like seriously I think that’s my new years resolution!!! I’m going to start soon as the new year hits!!! Now I know most ppl would probably say well u better get it in now! Ummm negative I will do what I’ve been doing nothing goings to change just the fact that I won’t be having sex ( of any kind)!!!

This is definitely a personal choice that I’m making and also a big one! I’m just sooo ready to be in a relationship that I don want something like sex to get in the way of me finding my Prince Charming! I’m ready to be in a relationship with someone who wants the same things I want I not more! I’m ready to be engaged and start my family! Well in the next 3 years. I’m sooo ready!!! It’s not even funny!

S/N: I start school tomorrow and I’ve been thinking about going to Moore Arts in Philly when I’m done with Empire!! Major in Fashion Design with a minor in Interior Design!!! Oh yeah

Hey so I haven’t been in here for a min!! A lot has happened to ya girl let me tell u!!

Sooo where I begin!?!?

Well let’s start from where I last left off…
I haven’t take to my first in I don’t know how long which is really a good thing because to be honest he brings out the BITCH in me! We were cool as friends and that’s about it!

Ive moved on to someone new! We aren’t together but we are really good friends and I almost had a repeat of the last thing! Yes I called him a thing!! Lol

I was in a position where I wanted a baby again, which that feeling hasn’t completed subsided but it’s a natural feeling! I’ve been thinking that it might be time for me to start my own family and get married and things like that! At the same time bc I’m trying to do so much for myself a baby and husband would just be in the way. So for now that’s on the back burner!

I’ve registered for school and will start on the 14th! This is something that I should have been done. Not so much the registering part but I should have been in Empire. I’ve doing hair since I was 12 and it’s something that truly makes me happy! Don’t get me wrong I would love to finish out my accounting an finance degree but right now that’s on the back burner!

I’ve really just have been trying to find my place and meaning in this thing called life! It’s truly a learning experience in every aspect of the way!

Oh s/n: I’ve been a little pissed about something that has happened and I really just need to get this off my chest! Soo someone I know had a child and it just so happened that she named her something I wanted to my child! I know I know I don’t have kids so why should it bother me!?!? Well it bothers me because I really don’t see where she would have came up with that name on her own!! Like seriously!!!! I’ve been holding on to my kids names for a minute now and for her to just come out of the blue and name her child that really pissing me off! Anyway congrats on ya baby and best of luck!!!

Anyway on to the next! Lol

Soo yeah that’s just a brief story of what I’ve been going thru!

When I start school I will come back and give a day by day take on it!!

Until next time be beautiful and stay blessed!

loving life & all those in it ♥

well where do i begin?!?!

Soo a few days ago i was told that i changed and have been acting funny lately! To  be real if u ask me i honestly just laugh it off seriously!! Only reason as to why i dnt give two shits is because the ppl well “friends” who said these things have yet to tell  me how or even say it to my face. so whatever; it is what it is, spilled milk not too concerned bc if we were true friends u wouldnt have a problem letting me kno EXACTLY how all this took place! WELL ON THE NEXT!!

okay soo i decide to let a guy friend know that my feelings for him were getting stronger and everything like that, soo he did exactly what i thought he would do…BITCH THE FUCK UP!! this is part of the reason as to why i keep most of my feelings to myself. im not even going to lie yeah my feelings are hurt something crazy but i dnt have time to dwell on the little things in life! I have soo much more ahead of me and besides i dnt think we wud b a good couple, i might choke the shit out of him….yeah so once again, ON TO THE NEXT!!

soo i work at wendys and that is just a mess in itself, ON TO THE NEXT!!!

im really thinking about getting my own place once i get back to the city…like ilove my mom but i like my own place! i want to be able to do whatever i want without having to worry about what others are going to say!  

college is doing a lot for me right now…not in a good way! i really wish that i would have done better with my last semester grades then i wouldnt b in this situation now. I can say that this is giving me a chance to actully figure out what i want to and from the looks of it im soo not comin back to Clarion this place is full of stress and sad ass memories seriously! I wont lie i did have a great time up here! A lot has happened while i was here. things that i wouldnt want to happen anywhere else or with another group of ppl!! but like ever good thing it must come to an end soo i can say that this Golden Eagle has to soar and find a happier home…ON TO THE NEXT!!

All i really want is to be happy and it seems like that really isnt in my future…AT ALL!! Im only 20 so i really dont think i should be going through this bs!

im back to wanting a baby..right now would soo be a good time only bc im not in school, i have a god job lined up for me when i go home in a few days, and besides that i want a baby and i really dont care who doesnt like it!!

def on my FUCK IT ATTITUDE!!

well I guess its all come down to this one decision…stay in Clarion bored making next to nothing or go back to Harrisburg where I can make some real money? my pockets tell me to leave yet my heart believe it or not wants to stay here with my Presto and my Roomie! I don’t want to be sad and depressed yet honestly wherever I go I kno something will happen where I’m not happy…shit its life!!! I’m so lost and confused!! if I go home I could go to beauty school or take online classes..I just want to be in school with my friends…damn this shouldn’t be soo hard!! ~~feeling alone and confused…fuck me! I’m done because I feel tears forming and I don’t feel like crying tonight

Damn loving you is something I honestly didnt think i would be able to do! I love you with my soul. We started off as strangers then became friends and the feelings came naturally!! Damn I never knew I could fall in love with someone I never met before. Being with you just feels soo right! Baby you got my nose open WIDE and this is something that has never happened to me before. Cedric even though we have a 14 year age difference I still feel like I can talk to you about anything..damn I got it bad I love you with everything that I have! I told you i wanted to move to the ATL once i got done with school…like damn i kno u take care of ya father but all i wante wa for you to tell me yess baby i will go anywhere u want me to….but no u just cameout and was like nope i cnt do it…damn when i say i wanted u to be on my side and just tell me what i wanted to hear. Damn baby I want you soo bad like right now bad!! its just soo much i want to say but i think i should let it ride out cuz i knw that in the end this is whats best for me and you!! I love you CEDRIC!!!

I promise everything little things make me want to curl up like a baby and cry my fucking eyes out! Im sick of crying I feel like its pointless to shed anymore tears when in the end everything is still in the same fucked up state! Plz give me the strength to go on. 

Eric Benet “I Want to be Loved” came on and swear tears started to form…ughh if this isnt my theme song to me life! 

I’m soo confused because I’m loved by family! My mom loves me unconditionally, as a mother should! I say I cant stand my dad but deep down I love him its just that Im afraid to show it towards him because I might not get that in return…

I want to be a DADDY’S GIRL!!!